Let’s be honest.
Anyone who’s ever taken a plane ride, a road trip, or hopped on some kind of train knows that waiting to get somewhere isn’t what you’re looking forward to the most (if at all). Between the crowds of people and the odd smells, things can get pretty uncomfortable.
Airport rules and regulations have gotten ridiculous, never mind the lines. Even if you can take a train, it stops being fun after 5 minutes. You could try a boat, but don’t get seasick. Also, make sure no one gets seasick near you. A few hours in a car wouldn’t be so bad if other people could actually learn to drive.
So, why are we doing all this again? ‘Cause there’s plenty more to complain about…
1. Uncomfortable Seating
If it’s not a back ache, it’s a leg cramp. Maybe you’re too short for the curve of the seat to fit you correctly and your head gets pushed forward a bit. You might also be too tall for your legs to fit where they’re supposed to, which makes you a little angry.
You’re cursed if the person next to you thinks your shoulder is a pillow or if the kid behind you wants to play Dance Dance Revolution on the back of your chair. Unless you’re in your own car, there’s not much you can do about the temperature.
Don’t worry though, it’s only a few more hours until you get there, right?
2. Lots of Waiting
You’ll have to wait to find your seat. Then, you’ll wait if you want to eat. You ought to wait your turn in line. In fact, you’ll wait a long, long time.
It’s like Dr. Seuss showed up uninvited and you hate green eggs and ham. Let’s hope you like everyone else you’re traveling with. It would certainly suck to be bored and annoyed.
3. Need Food.
Speaking of waiting for food, you’ll definitely get hungry at some point. You better hope that the airplane food isn’t too terrible, especially since you’ve been surviving off of cheap ramen to afford the ticket.
If you’re driving, you might get lucky. If you’re driving through the U.S. and you don’t like Mexican food, you’re a bit less lucky.
I can’t comment on the train food, since I definitely didn’t figure out where they were hiding it.
4. Where’s the Bathroom?
This one might also turn into the “Can I just hold it?” game. It might not be the best idea, but it’s a lot easier than moving after you get comfortable. It also becomes extremely necessary when you realize you passed a rest stop a few miles back and now you’re stuck in traffic.
Besides the fact that airplane bathrooms are already cramped and uncomfortable, it’s hard to tell when they’re all occupied and you never know when you’ll run into some turbulence…
5. So Sleepy…
It’s impossible to fall asleep on a plane without waking up 20 minutes later. Then, you end up with a crick in your neck for the rest of the trip.
If you’re like me, it’s also impossible to stay awake for more than 15 minutes in the car. Your directions just get criticized anyway.
Then, when the whole thing is finally over, you start to wonder if it’s too soon to take a quick nap. This only gets worse when you end up in a different time zone. If only you could just turn a sleep switch on and off, you could stop dozing off at the worst possible times.
6. Too Much Energy!
I’m sorry, did you think you’d be lucky enough to fall asleep at the same time as everyone else? That’s cute.
Actually, after that 20 minute nap, you feel like sprinting up and down the aisle. Unfortunately, no one else would appreciate your antics. Stretching just isn’t going to cut it right now. You could just pull over in a car, but it’s probably not smart to start doing jumping jacks on the side of a highway.
7. Help, Please?
Some people can be incredibly rude. They’re always in a rush or they’re convinced they shouldn’t be nice to you because you might be a serial killer or something.
Luckily, anyone who doesn’t scowl at you is usually happy to help. This is great for when you can’t reach those overhead bins or when you get hopelessly lost.
Isn’t that a positive thing?
Sure, but when help arrives just in time for you to miss your flight or a kind stranger gives you really bad directions, you end up needing more help. It’s worse when it ends up costing you something.
8. Other People’s Children
Children are a joy until they’re not. This is most obvious when someone else’s child isn’t so sweet and innocent.
Children sometimes enjoy calling other people names, fighting with siblings, and getting exactly what they want (who doesn’t?). Most of the time, you’ll have a problem with their parents. The other times, you meet the one child that makes you consider stealing candy from babies and getting into fisticuffs with someone much younger than you.
It’s no wonder people sometimes question the inherent goodness of children.
9. That’s It? Expecting Too Much
After all the tests of your endurance and bravery, the long wait is over. You show up somewhere new or to a place you’ve dearly missed. Most of the time, you know better than to romanticize it, though you can’t help but notice it’s a little different than you expected.
Do they have to do construction now? You forgot to look into that before you left.
Also, a lot of things seem much bigger in pictures and on TV. You can barely even see the damn thing from where you’re standing.
What was the big deal anyway?
10. You Mean I Have to Go Back?
This is quite possibly the worst part of it all. You’ve had a lovely trip, but you can’t stay forever. The only destination left is home.
Only, this time, when you go through all the hassle of traveling back, there’s nothing new and exciting waiting for you when you get there.
Does it have to end?
Yes. Yes, it does.
The main reason it sucks is the same reason you should do it. Despite all the crazy, stressful situations you might get yourself into, some moments are worth it.
No picture of Paris can make you feel the sense of accomplishment that comes with climbing all 669 steps to get to the second floor of the Eiffel Tower. No one else can explain the magic of finding the best Tennessee BBQ inside of a place that looks like somebody’s house. It might be hell to get a sunburn at a beach in Mexico, but it was worth it.
It’s more disappointing to avoid something you want to do because it might be uncomfortable than to deal with delayed flights and missed exits before experiencing something wonderful.
Just remember that you’re a tough cookie and you can fight through anything.
Though, would someone responsible please make those airplane seats a bit more bearable? A girl can only deal with so much.